Have you ever pondered what “Page” you were reading in ‘Your Story’? What chapter…what Page…what paragraph? What “Page” are you currently living and being today? Where are you in your story? I have often wondered why I get so ‘caught up’ and fixated on the current “Page” I find myself being and living…why do I wrestle at times with God’s design and plans when I cannot see the next “Page”? What captures my fixation and focus that brings me to wander from the current “Page” that I am living and breathing and being? When you cannot see the next “Page” or “Pages,” do you find you grow anxious, fearful, or scared of your future…do you ever feel hampered, weighed down, held back, or constrained on your current “Page” in life due to the preceding “pages”? Do you find yourself wondering how your story will end…how will the chapters finally climax and culminate? How will the plot, the successes, the failures, the bumps, the bruises, the challenges, the stress points, the detours, the roadblocks of your life journey connect in the coming “Pages” of your story to weave and reveal the Father’s redeeming, restoring, unconditional Love in, with, and through you and your life? How will the “Pages” from your past and the “Page” you are currently living be connected and lovingly redeemed as God’s writes the next “Pages” of your life in the future?

I love how Jesus ministered and lived a life of absolute abandoned Love (Agape) during His three and a half year public ministry on earth. While He was here, time after time, He stepped intentionally into the space of those around Him who were ‘bogged down’ or ‘held down’ in the current “Pages” of their story due to their circumstances or situation. Yet, He would shatter their expectations and release them in their stories such that they could fully enter into the place of abandoned Faith and Love in Him as He set them free to live the coming “Pages” of their life and story without any restricting constraint from their previous perceptions or fears. By doing this, Jesus would tie and connect all of the “Pages” together in a beautiful tapestry showcasing His amazing and powerful redeeming and restoring love. One such example of this “shattering” takes place when Jesus crossed paths with the woman who had been hindered with arthritis for 18-years. In Luke 13:10-17, there is a radical love encounter where Jesus meets and forever changes a crippled woman (for 18-years!) on the Sabbath, the Jewish day of worship. Upon His encounter, Jesus models compassion & love while choosing to step into her place of suffering and heal her completely allowing her to stand straight for the first time in 18-years! Let’s step into her shoes for a brief minute. What do you think was going through her head when Jesus spoke to her and healed her instantly from her infirmity? What do you think she felt in Year #10 or Year #12 or Year #15 of her affliction and pain? How difficult and painful were the “Pages” of this woman’s life for those long 18-years? Do you think she ever grew hopeless…despondent…discouraged living in the context of those “Pages” of pain during those long 18-years? Could she ever see how God was going to lovingly connect her past “Pages” of pain into a beautiful, loving Redemptive conclusion in the future “Pages” of her life and story?

God is crazy and passionate about pursuing you…just as a lover pursues his beauty (Psalm 23:6). God’s heart desires…craves…yearns…longs for intimacy with you no matter what “Page” you find yourself living and being today…He wants you as His prized and delighted son or daughter to embrace Him and His love with open arms so that He can comfort you in the blanket of His intimacy bond…moment by moment…day by day…”Page” by “Page.” Where are you? You cannot see the end of the chapter or story. You cannot see how all of the “Pages” of your life and story are perfectly connected and woven together to produce the finished masterpiece that He is writing with your life story one “Page” at a time…only God sees that today. He sees all the words, sentences, paragraphs, “Pages”, chapters that comprise your personal life story…your journey. He sees it in totality today…but you cannot and do not. So, how are you to respond to the throws of failure…of brokenness…of trials…of setbacks…of challenges…of hurts…of fears…of dreams? Where do you run? How do you respond? Surrender…letting go of your steering wheel and trusting the Father’s skills as the Perfect Author to your story…that is the response of your heart that He desires and calls you to enter. May you and I see God today as the Great and Perfect Loving Author to our stories…may we embrace Him in this role…may we accept that we cannot see or fully understand today how our “Page” today or our previous “Pages” will be perfectly and beautifully connected to write a redeeming, restoring, and loving conclusion to our life stories…may we respond as Jesus asks those He ministered to respond…may we embrace a life of Surrender one day at a time…one moment at a time…may we allow God to keep the pen in His loving hands as He finishes His role as the author to our stories connecting all of our life “Pages” into His masterpiece. May we rest and embrace His peace and security in this blessed and wonderful reality…I pray you and I will live, embrace, and breathe in this reality each and every day…emoting surrender as we allow Him to be the Author and Completer of our stories.

Resting & Surrendering,

Jared S. Faellaci

Interruptions…how many hit you today…this week…last week? Think about it. We all get them…they come in different sizes and shapes and appear in different colors and shades…but the reality is that we all face Interruptions on a daily/weekly basis in some form or fashion. What are they? Interruption is simply some abrupt occurrence that disrupts or ‘interrupts’ the continuity of an ongoing activity. I have been pondering this thought over the past week as I have been going through the Gospel of Luke in my reflection time with God. I started thinking back to all of the crazy colors of Interruptions that I have recently faced: From getting dinner ready for my three children one Saturday evening for after hosting a family over at the house, when Lizzy my youngest complained about her stomach hurting…so, I went to tend to her and as soon as I picked her up from the living room chair, she proceeded to get sick 4 times in a matter of minutes on me, on the floor, and on the kitchen; I think about walking away from my dentist office in a hurry to get back to my house to pack and head out of town when a guy in his 20’s stopped me cold in my tracks and needed gas money; I think about a younger, crazed teenager approaching me outside of the Boston train station desperate for a few dollars to buy a train ticket to get home; I think about sitting in my kitchen at my bar working on a laundry list of emails while my room was being painted by some contractors, when one of the older contractors decides to start telling me all of the unfolding painful threads to “his story”; I think about standing next to one of the teenager guys at LFR two weeks ago getting ready for 225+ teenagers to arrive for Sports Camp by 8:45 in the morning, when he puts his arm around me and tells me he just found out that his mom’s disease prognosis is not favorable; I think about having plans to treat my kids to a week at the beach and then find out that a ‘monkey wrench’ has been thrown into the plans because of another person’s decision which was completely outside of my control; I think about a personal phone call to my cell when I am trying to get 10 things done at the same time right in the middle of the work day. Interruptions…they happen every day to all of us…the question is, “Is the Interruption truly an interruption, or is it something else?”

Interruptions, they hit you and me from all sides and all angles, eh? How do you respond? What goes through your head and heart when something ‘drops’ on your plate unexpectedly? What is the natural inclination? I know I wrestle and struggle with them…it’s been part of the Journey in my own life to realize the harsh reality that I am NOT in control of my day…my activities…my circumstances…or my so-called “Interruptions” that may hit me on the side or from the rear or head-on as I walk through each day in my life journey. Learning to see “Interruptions” through the “Grid” and “Lens” of my Father has been a challenge and difficult for me…I’m still not there today at 35-years old. My natural inclination is to look at them or it as a true Interruption in the rawest sense vs. seeing it or them as a “God Appointed Opportunity” to unfold and unravel another page of His plan, purpose, and path for me and my Journey as I remain connected to Him and a conduit for His unconditional love to fill and flow through me into the person or situation of the “Interruption.” Nothing happens out of mere happenstance or coincidence…all my circumstances and Interruptions first pass through the loving hands of my Father in heaven…this is His perspective and my reality, when I choose to embrace it…which then allows me to begin to leap forward in moving this truth from just a propositional head truth to a heart truth; then a true life transformation begins to occur inside of me…I begin to see each Interruption as an God Appointed Opportunity to paint His love and His grace in, with, and through that Divine Interruption…one Interruption at a time. Interruptions are really not interruptions then, are they?

So, let’s conclude the paint splashing on this canvas today by looking at one of the classic Jesus ‘Interruption‘ example texts from Luke. In Luke 9:1-11, Jesus had sent his 12 Disciples out to teach and heal those in need. He also had a curious leader, Herod, who was seeking to reconcile the spiritual questions and curiosity that he was wrestling with in his heart about the Jesus he had heard so much about. At the tail of this passage text in (vv.10-11), it states: “The apostles returned and reported on what they had done. Jesus took them away off by themselves, near the town called Bethsaida. But the crowds got wind of it and followed. (Now catch this next portion!) Jesus graciously welcomed them and talked to them about the kingdom of God. Those who needed healing, He healed.” Did you see Jesus’ response to the so-called “Interruption”? He had a plan to remove Himself along with His 12 Disciples to reflect and decompress from the time of their healing and teaching together alone…yet, the “crowds got wind of it and followed”…net/net = “Interruption” to the original plan Jesus had. So, how does He respond? What model and example does He leave for you and me as we daily face our so-called ‘Interruptions’? He didn’t get upset or angry or “put out” with the change of plans…rather, He “graciously welcomed them (the crowds) and talked to them about the kingdom of God…healing…” Wow…what a contrast to the response that pops its ugly head so many times in my life and yours when we are ‘Interrupted’ from our plans or activity. May you and I embrace this Jesus Model and allow ourselves to see each and every ‘Interruption’ as a God Appointed Opportunity for Him to weave His love, grace, and plan in, with, and through your life and story…one page…one thread…one day…one Interruption at a time…Amen.

Resting & Surrendering,

Jared S. Faellaci

“Empty”…Have you ever felt “Empty”? Are you feeling “Empty” today? Do you shiver or shy at the idea? The word “Empty” as an adjective actually denotes ‘having nothing; vacant; unoccupied; devoid’ while the verb refers more to the thought of ‘to deprive or discharge of contents.’ At Lake Forest Ranch last week during their annual “Camp Macon” week, I had the blessing of having my 3 children along with my parents for the week to participate in the love week of serving the children, teenagers, and adults from Macon, MS in (3) threads: Sports Camp, Kids Camp, and Work Camp. This was our 3rd annual Camp Macon, and as I reflected to Rich & Bill later, God has slowly painted the week into a “Summer Staple” in terms of annual July experience for us. I was able to spend some time unpacking this thought and life truth of being “Empty” and want to share some of the pages and colors with you today. When we take the word in its original context, the Hebrew (Rek) refers to ‘with nothing’ while the Greek (Kenos) points to ‘void; hollow; having nothing’ (Philippians 2:7 (the classic text); Mark 12:3; Luke 1:53; 20:10, 11).

Bill Reif, who led the Sports Camp thread at Camp Macon, was able every evening to share with the Volunteers and Youth Team Captains various truths that were ‘grabbing’ him. He talked about the idea of “Oh God!” versus “Oh God, please help me (Fill in the blank)…” As I was walking around the perimeter on this truth, I began to see and gain some clarity of why Emptiness is absolutely foundational to being a Jesus Follower. You see, when I come with my “Junk”–good or bad–my talents…my dreams…my desires…my pains…my capacity…my wounds…my giftedness…my experiences…my ‘good deeds’…my positive opinion and reputation with others…my self-grit…my goals…my resources…you name it…whatever I come “with” to Jesus, He wants me to “Discharge” ALL of it to Him and lay it at His feet…everything…both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ junk. If I come with anything, then the equation still points to a ‘Jared and his “stuff” + Jesus’ and that’s not the equation He wants or desires in me. He wants me “Emptied” of all…completely discharged of all self contents…laid out before Him in absolute and complete Surrender declaring quietly and humbly in my heart to Him: Jesus, I can’t…I absolutely cannot…I am not…I give you everything…You can…and You are…Jesus, live in, with, and through me so that Your painting and story with my life can be perfected and completed as You see best. “Empty” is nothing more than just another thread and color depicting absolute Surrender to our Father. It’s not easy. It’s not natural. It’s tough. And, as I am writing and smiling and crying with tears of joy, I think, isn’t it ironic and amazing how God with so much creativity can “press our buttons” in such a way to help you and me embrace being “Empty” to walk down the path of Surrender? Think back to those ‘defining moments’ in your own Journey, where and when did the Father meet you and ‘press your buttons’ to cause you to drop all your “Stuff” or junk down so that there was nothing left of you but you humbled, broken, and surrendered laid out before Him saying, “Father, I can’t…but You can…I lay it all down before You…Your will be done and not mine…” Bill said it best when he depicted a classic two-word prayer on the canvas of being “Empty” and Surrendered to Him: “Oh God!” Two short words of prayer with so much depth and color…I need You…I can’t…I am nothing…Help Me, God.

I have fallen in love with David’s prayer of Emptiness in Psalm 40:17 (The Message): “…And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing: make something of me (God).” Do you see David in the process of completely “Discharging all his stuff” before God with his humble declaration; that is the essence of being “Emptied” of self and embracing the path of Surrender to Him. We need “Empty” anchors to point and connect our own lives with when we are in the process of ‘wrestling’ with God; we all need them. I love the “anchors” God gives us to showcase and model this truth of Emptiness. Men like Joseph, full of ambition and self-drive, and yet he had to embrace the path of laying and dying to his dreams, goals, aspirations and self-confidence all down at the Father’s feet in complete Emptiness so that when God showed up and restored Joseph to #2 in charge of all Egypt and reunited him with his family, it was all God…Joseph had nothing to do with it anymore…He had ran on the path of Emptiness, learning to let go and lay everything down at God’s feet. Then, we look at Job, with all of his wealth, gifts, and capacity…how for no reason other than Satan’s desire to afflict and tempt him, God allowed Job to be tormented losing nearly everything…his family, his wealth, his capacity, even his health. Job went from having ‘everything’ in the world’s terms to having ‘nothing’ and being “Emptied” of all…why…because God is God…and God gives, and God takes, and Job finally embracing this reality saw that the only color on the canvas of his life was the color of God painting, at whatever speed and whatever color He chose to paint on Job’s canvas. Then, there is Jonah, with his spiritual pride (he remind us of many today in “Christian America” with all of our “Religiosity” and formal practices and traditions yielding inflated spiritual pride with so many) who had to learn a very tough lesson on the pathway of Emptiness…Jonah had to die and let go of his spiritual pride and finally did so after spending several days in the fish’s body. Then, there is Paul, who was a scholar of all scholars…intellectual genius…learned and schooled in the most elite of Jewish rabbinical schools. Yet, with all of Paul’s elite status and stature, God had to “push his buttons” to take him down the pathway of Emptiness and Surrender…letting go of all ‘his eliteness’ and seeing it was only God in, with, and through Him who was going to do anything good in life. So, where is the Father pressing into you today to “Discharge your stuff” to Him…where is He asking you to be “Emptied” and embrace His pathway of Surrender? May you and I cry out in humble reflection today on His pathway of Emptiness and Surrender the simple heart prayer…”Oh, God!”

Resting in Him,

Jared S. Faellaci

“Silence”…How do you feel about “Silence”? What do you feel like when you are sitting all alone with no noise around you…no iPOD…no music…no TV…no DVR…no internet…no texting…no IM’ing…no book…no one else around…just plain, simple, raw, intimidating Silence…how do you feel? What runs through your heart and mind in those moments? Do you feel scared? Do you feel antsy? Are you prone to “pick something up” like your phone…your blackberry…your iPOD…the remote? How long can you sit and remain in absolute “Silence”? What mental and emotional ‘barriers’ keep you from sitting and embracing those absolute surreal moments of “Silence”? What emotional, spiritual, or mental fears prohibit you from celebrating this space of Silence?

There are so many Dimensions to “Silence” and we could unpack countless paintings depicting the topic and its multi-dimensionality. There are (2) Dimensions of “Silence” though that I would like to unfold today…one is in respect to our response to God…and the other intersects our response to people around us across life’s journey. I find it amusing and sometimes irritating how God as our Perfect Loving Father, absolutely crazy for us as His children, can just ‘engineer’ and ‘orchestrate’ our circumstances and life in such a way that He wants to invoke a response of “Silence”…a response of stillness and “Silence” as we come to the simple yet profound place of truly having all of our senses tuned into Him and His voice with all of the other “noise” around us diminished or eliminated…it is so simple on paper and in theory…yet so very difficult to embrace and enter into that space of Silence. Why? Why do we cower or step back from the space of Silence? What shackles our feet from embracing this space? Peeling the onion back, what is your greatest roadblock to entering this safe space of Silence? What do you feel when it is just God and you sitting in Silence together in your home with absolute zero noise around you? Will you go there? What keeps you from this Silence?

The second “Silence” Dimension is the Intersection with Others…with people who will cross your path along life’s journey who will ’stir our pot’ and ‘push our buttons’…how do we respond? What response is invoked inside of us when these life intersections occur? Do we want to stand up and defend ourselves? Do we desire to get on our “Soapbox” and let them know a thing or two of Reality versus the “junk” that they verbally dumped on us? Do we desire to ‘react’? Do we want to put them “in their place”? I know all too well…for this past week, I was in a head-on verbal collision on Monday with some well-meaning folks who just had no pulse on Reality…all due to skewed and jaded information that had been passed along second-hand to them. I listened to the onslaught of words, inferences, and the negative body language and wanted after the exchange to leverage my God-given communication skills and go on the ‘warpath’ letting them know what I thought of them…now, that’s my flesh in real-time! However, I did not fire off a note, nor an email, nor a phone call…I did call and speak with a few close friends letting them know how absolutely selfish, self-serving, self-absorbed, and immature the ‘onslaught’ was…however, after speaking to my close friends and to Bill, my mentor later that Monday evening, I realized that God was calling me to the uncomfortable, yet obedient space of “Silence”…no response…just sitting still and entering even as uncomfortable as I was into the Safe Space of Silence the same, identical response that Jesus showcased when He was falsely accused, maligned, judged, criticized and condemned…Silence. He did not emote a verbal response. He was Silent. Wow…I mean, I wear my “WWJD” bracelet on my wrist…and as I was emoting inside, I began to ponder the weight of Jesus’ simple yet deep response of Silence. Where is He calling you to be Silent today? With whom, is He asking you to enter into the Safe Space of Silence? What attack, what lie, what gossip, what onslaught, what condemnation, what criticism is Jesus asking you to ‘let go’ and enter into His Safe Space of Silence? Will you and I let ‘it’ go and sit in Silence with our Loving Father, eliminating the “noise” that so easily disconnects our heart from Him?

I love how Job and God do the ‘Verbal Battle’ and Job finally concludes in Job 40:3-5 in response to God’s questions…”I’m speechless, in awe–words fail me. I should never have opened my mouth! I’ve talked too much, way too much. I’m ready to shut up and listen.” Silence…that is the answer reflecting in the rear view mirror that Job wished he would have embraced and taken, but didn’t. And, then in Psalm 46:10, “Be Still and know that I am God” (Net/net: Be still and silent and hear and listen to the voice of your Loving Father). May you and I today continue to embrace and then live in the context of His Safe Space of Silence…

Resting in Silence,

Jared S. Faellaci

Freedom? According to Wikipedia, there are many different usages…from Political to Spiritual to Relational to Economic to Psychological to name a few. From a spiritual perspective, Freedom may encompass the peaceful acceptance of reality…reconciling the experience or reality of inner Freedom with the omnipotence of God (Wikipedia). Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a French philosopher, painted Freedom this way, “…man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.” So, with that backdrop on our Reflection Canvas, let me unpack a few more colors from my paint tote on this topic today…on the 4th, I had the privilege of ‘being present’ in Boston, sitting on the bank of the Charles River…just breathing, reflecting, listening to the Boston Pops & Rascal Flatts before 500,000+ people saw the skies of Boston completely & masterfully painted with a tremendous show of fireworks, beauty, and splendor. It was exhilarating. As I thought about “Freedom” that night, I connected our political and governmental Freedom to our Freedom in life as we journey through the potholes, road bumps, detours, twists and turns…let’s unpack this together.

Freedom from your past…Freedom from your junk…Freedom from your wounds…Freedom from your skeletons in the closet…Freedom from your painful memories…Freedom from your shame…Freedom from your mistakes…Freedom from your secrets…Freedom from your invisible rope…Freedom from your guilt…Freedom from your failures…Freedom from your fears…Freedom. To borrow from Wikipedia (I like this because of the connection to the teachings of Jesus), “Freedom” can denote a “peaceful acceptance of reality”…implying that you and I can enter into the space of true peace and acceptance of God’s reality as our personal Freedom foundation and basis. We often see this “quest for Freedom”…historically, from our own country fighting as the rag-a-muffin underdogs to rally and defeat the British in the late 18th century securing our Freedom…to Mel Gibson yelling “Freedom” in the movie, Braveheart…to D’Leh, the central character in 10,000 BC, when he yells out, “Together…we are One” as he fought to free his people from the tyrannical ruler. Yet, there is a core contrary theme in our life journey that runs against these broader, socio-political, Freedom quest examples. In our personal journey, the reality is that we cannot obtain true Freedom in and of ourselves…we just can’t. We can and may try…and often do, as you & I know too well. We can claw, and climb, and build, and get, and cover, and forget, and pose, and ‘repaint’, and masquerade, etc., but no matter what strategy, what tactic, or what effort we attempt, we always end up not realizing fully true inner Freedom deep inside our hearts, do we? Why is that? What keeps you and I from coming into the space of “peaceful acceptance of (God’s) reality”?

What is God’s love message to you and me on this topic of realizing personal Freedom…stepping into the space of absolute, peaceful acceptance of God’s reality and not our perceived reality? I love how Jesus paints a Message of Hope to you and me that shouts loudly from the skies on this very topic. Let’s take a quick peak at Jesus’ Message of Hope for you today on this thread of Freedom: In Matthew 11:28 (NLT), Jesus says, “Come unto me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest (restoring of life…His freedom).” Jesus says in (The Message) in the same passage (11:28-30), “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

I don’t know what you are carrying today or what is quietly lingering in the back of your brain or heart as your “Barrier” to realizing personal Freedom…but the Father does…God, your Perfect Loving Father, does. He knows. He sees. He cares. And He wants to remove the grip of that Freedom ‘Barrier’ on your heart and life…but, you and I must go to Him (as He says too) and let Him take us into His reality. What is His reality in this Freedom realization? No matter what your ‘barrier’ is today, There is ALWAYS HOPE for you with God, your loving Father…ALWAYS. He will embrace you “As Is” when you come to Him broken, bruised, battered, hurt, scared, hopeless, afraid, ashamed, guilty, with questions, etc. He will embrace you and take you into a space of Forgiveness, Healing, and then Freedom, a peaceful acceptance of His reality becoming your reality, one day, one thread, one color, one page at a time. Will you come and lay your ‘burden’…your ‘Freedom Barrier’ down at His feet today…will you completely let go of it and drop it at the Father’s feet? May you and I enter into the space of Freedom…true inner Freedom…a place where He envelopes you with His unconditional love and grace and healing to weave His beautiful and masterful threads of Redemption in, with, and through your life and story woven into His larger Story. May you watch the beauty of His painting in your life and then truly realize His Freedom in you soul and heart, stripped of all barriers…Father, we ask you all of this in Your loving and redemptive Freedom-giving Name…Amen.

Loving Him,

Jared S. Faellaci

Why? The weighty question that pierces your heart and mind…Why? We all ask it…none of us escape the question at different intersections across life’s journey…I am not immune to it, and neither are you. Why? A short adverb with so much weight and power. Why? It comes to the surface of your heart and mind at those opportune, painful, questioning times, eh? When is the last time you asked the question…Why? It’s a question I have asked God hundreds of times through my life’s journey…Why, God…Why? You are not alone…all of us have asked the question. It’s like Solomon’s synthesis in Ecclesiastes 9 when he concludes that all of us in life share one common single fate…Death. So, too, we are all prone and ‘prisoner’ at times to the weighty and hefty question, “Why”. What is your “Why” today?

I was inspired by two folks this past week on this “Why” weight. One was a contract painter I hired to do some touch up painting for me. We’ll call him “John” to protect his identity. As he was in my breakfast room painting, I began to ask some simple questions…he then unwound like an open book to me…telling me about his divorce and his 2 sons in Kentucky that he has not seen in an over a year…and how he had moved in with a younger woman who had been divorced 3 times…how this past weekend she went out partying with her friends and got drunk and went home with another man…when he found out about it, he told me he asked the question, ‘Why?’…and then, he decided to ‘throw in the towel himself’ so he headed to the local bar and found a young gal in her early 20’s and went home with her. As I’m listening to his story, my heart breaks…I can see the pain in his face…I can see the question “Why” really only scratches the surface to the depth of what he really is thinking, struggling, and wrestling with inside. “John” is asking “Why” when in reality the true question is, ‘What’…’What God are you doing and calling me to?’ John does not see Hope today…He cannot see a loving Heavenly Father, crazy about him, ready to embrace him…broken, screwed-up, messed-up, and hurting…’Just as I am’ as the hymn writer says…but, that is John’s opportunity in laying his brokenness down at the foot of the cross and declaring, “I can’t God…I can’t…and I give all my junk to you…it’s yours, Father…and I need You…I am desperate for You to save me and to show me your way…your path…and your plan.”

Here are some of the “Why” questions I have heard from my own heart or from the heart of others over the past few years: Why does God allow people to die…so young? Why does it seem that ‘bad’ people make the most money in life? Why God did you allow my child to pass away at such a young age? Why God did my husband contract cancer? Why God did you not give me that job that I needed so badly? Why God did you allow my spouse to walk away from me and our marriage? Why God did you not take away this financial bondage? Why God did you not intervene and do something? Why God do you allow ‘good’ people to suffer? Why God don’t you change him or her? Why God won’t you bring him/her into a personal relationship with you? Why did you take my mom home? Why God?

Asking questions is freeing, especially the “Why” question, if we allow it to take us then to a deeper question…”What”…”What are you doing God?”…”What are you unfolding here, Father?”…”What is your plan and purpose in this situation/pain/circumstance/question, God?” When you look at the Scriptures, we see countless examples of those who also carried the weight of “Why”…from Noah…to Joseph…to Moses…to David…to Jesus Himself on the cross when He said, ‘My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?’ If Jesus Himself asked “Why”…then it’s okay for you and me to also ask the question of God in life…it’s okay. But, we must not stop at the intersection of the question “Why”…we must surrender to Him and allow the question to take us deeper into the depths of truly abiding in Him such that we can even as Jesus declared in His prayer in the garden before He went to the cross, “Not my will, Father, but Yours be done.” “What” are you doing here, God…What is your plan and purpose…What do you want me to do here, Father…What are you unfolding as part of your bigger and larger Story, Father? I pray you and I will continue to embrace the freedom found in asking God questions…tough questions…”Why”…but may we not stop there…may we embrace it and then allow ourselves in a Journey of Surrender to begin to see God’s “What” behind our “Why”…I pray your heart is encouraged as you embrace God’s “hug of hope” today for you, no matter what weight you carry today in your heart with your “Why” question.

With His Love,

Jared S. Faellaci

We are relational beings…by nature…as men and women, we reflect this aspect of God’s nature…He desires relationship “With” us as His children, and we too as men and women desire relationships “With” one another. As I was thinking and reflecting this past week on this small yet very powerful word, “With,” I could not help but remember the recent tagline from the Wachovia Bank “With” commercial touting their AG Edwards acquisition…here are a few excerpts: “With…an unassuming word that holds so much meaning…it’s the tipping point…a bond is created…I’m with child…she’s with me…we’re with the band…our reasons may vary, but in one way or another we all strive to be “With”…search for those who value “With”…let’s see what it can do for you…” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzrhO5IoZ8s

Let me paint a small backdrop for you as we unwind this “With” thing today…I have used this “With” color in painting a life reminder for myself and my 3 children…we all will sit at the table and look at each other and then take one hand with the thumb touching our chest…and then collectively say, “God will never leave me (insert name),” using one finger for each of the five words in the statement. The underlying current to that simple gesture & statement is “With”…God is With me…He is With you…Always…No caveats…No contingencies…No performance required…Always, He is “With” you and me…this provides a ‘blanket of unconditional love and security’ that nothing and no one can steal. What happens though in those defined moments across life’s journey when we all will feel in some shade or fashion: Alone…By yourself…Abandoned…Single & solo…Lost in translation? What do you do? How do you cope? Where do you turn? What soothes your soul?

God gives us “With” to remind you and me that yes, we do all strive to be “With” others relationally because it’s in our DNA…it’s part of you…who you are at the core, and that’s normal & okay…but, when you and I have those moments across life’s journey and feel lonely, battle-scared, solo, single, etc., those are the times that He wants to wrap you up in His “With” Blanket of Love…He wants to quietly remind you by whispering in your heart and ears, “I am with you always…I will never leave you…I am crazy about you…Always…I am Emmanuel (God is with you)…” He is “With” you today…tomorrow…and the next day…and next…and next…and next, etc. There are no human “Conditions” or “Contingencies” or “Prenupts” or “Caveats” to subtract, lesson, or take away God’s “With” from you…He will NEVER leave you, as His son or daughter…He is “With” you always, a “Bond” that cannot be broken, as the Ad so poignantly paints! Even the Hebrew word for “with” paints this concept of bond…(’eem’: in conjunction, accompanying, beside). Let’s chew on some of the great “With” statements He gives you and me today: Hebrews 13:5 (NAS): “…I will never desert you; nor will I ever forsake you.”; or in Isaiah 43:2 (NIV): “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Today…God is “With” you…regardless and irrespective of how you feel or look inside…His “beauty and love pursue you every day” and His “With” Blanket of unconditional love and security give you a fresh paradigm for diving into your life challenges this day and week…I pray we all learn to live in the reality of His “With” color and celebrate and dance to its many blessings…look at yourself in the mirror today and remind yourself of “With”…

Resting in Him,

Jared S. Faellaci

This is a difficult topic to unfold this week…so we’ll go ahead & let the paint fly on this Father’s Day! It’s been said that every Christian leader walks with a “Limp” (of some degree or fashion). As Os Hillman said in his TGIF daily blog, “If a leader has not wrestled with God over their natural abilities and come to a place of total dependence on God, that leader will live a life of striving and manipulation.” A “Limp.” We look at the Scriptures, and they are filled with example after example of men and women who “wrestled with God” and had some sort or degree of a “Limp” that was a defining color in their Spiritual Journey. From Moses, spending the 40-years in the desert to then beating the rock instead of speaking to it and then being prohibited from entering the Promised Land…to David, after his adultery and murder to losing his son at birth and then being kept from building the Temple…to Peter, whose denial of Christ and then later rooftop vision and dream became lasting footprints on his life and legacy…to Paul, who had a ‘thorn in the flesh’ that He begged God three separate times to remove yet He would not remove it…to probably my favorite example in this “Limp” portrait being Jacob, the son of Isaac, the great Patriarch. Jacob (later renamed by God to Israel), the father of the sons who became the 12 Tribes of Israel, was known for his desire to control and manipulate those around him (his dad, Isaac, in lying to gain the final blessing; to Esau, his brother, whom he lied and manipulated several times). Jacob was a very intelligent man who was always thinking how to leverage his surroundings (people and things) to his own personal advantage. Yet, in spite of this, God sees beauty and redemption in Jacob and pursues Him desiring to chip and chisel the personal control, manipulation, and self-dependence and replace it with a God-dependence, selflessness, and surrender. The climax of this painting takes place one evening when “a man” (God) wrestles Jacob in Genesis 32 all night long. Jacob refused to let go of God until finally “the man” physically altered Jacob’s strength permanently by touching his hip socket causing him to “Limp.” When Jacob’s own strength and skills were ‘altered’ with the “Limp,” a defining God-moment had surfaced in Jacob’s heart; he was no longer self-dependent, but now was absolutely God-dependent, as his own strength had been weakened and limited due to his “Limp” forever impacting Jacob’s life going forward.

So, as I read the account in Genesis 32 of Jacob and reflect on countless others in the Scriptures, I began thinking this past week…What is my “Limp”? Where in my life and journey has God touched me with a “Limp” as He did Jacob bringing me to absolute Surrender? A few days ago, I was traveling on business at the Oracle & Deloitte Kickoff events, and Oliver, a former Oracle colleague that I knew from my early years in sales, came up to me and commented as he introduced me to one of his co-workers, “This is Jared…he was a very young and successful Rep with us years ago, but worked way too hard and too long…” I looked at him, and then the paint splashed all over my eyes…I saw it…I saw with absolute crystal clarity my “Limp”…I then looked at Oliver and said with a smile, “Yes, I did, and who cares now; I did have lots of success in my 20’s…but the choices I made then cost me the relationship I treasured the most…my marriage…and I’ve been paying the consequences ever since…” My “Limp” was my failure in my marriage, a Relational Limp, as God wanted all of me and would not tire in His pursuit of me until I finally “let go” of everything and laid it all at His feet. The amazing irony is that with this “Limp,” God has been building a foundation in my heart that is yielding & producing a legacy now and for years to come; for now, it’s not me, but God…it’s Him because He has all of me as I am reminded everyday with my “Limp.” With my dreams, hopes, expectations, agendas, and plans all finally surrendered to Him and laid at His feet, God has shown me what it truly means to Live…He has taught me and continues to teach me: It’s not about me; it’s about Him and only Him…Life is about giving myself away to Him and then to others…I can’t; but, thankfully He can…I am not; but amazingly He is…I can truly live, breathe, celebrate, dance, and enjoy life with my children; with my Band of Brothers; with my connected Community; with the world around me…a life of love is always with me on the outside of the circle focused on selflessly connecting & aiming outward at meeting and serving those around me…taking off the mask and laying the posing aside, I don’t have to ‘buy the lies of our culture and society’ to be the driven, perfectionistic, over-achieving, success, have-it-all-together, and me-centered person that I once was…life is about a Journey of Surrender every day…learning to let go of the steering wheel, even as Jacob had to learn to let go of his need for control…learning to completely give up my hopes, dreams, expectations, assumptions, and longings and lay them all down at His feet to say quietly from my heart every day, ‘Not my will, Father…but Yours and Yours alone and only be done.’ I know my “Limp”…my “Jacob’s Limp”; it’s a Relational Limp that He continues to use, redeem, restore, and build for His glory, part of His story and portrait that He is weaving & painting in, with, and through my life.

So, fellow Follower of Jesus today…where is your “Limp”…what is your “Jacob’s Limp”? Where is God pursuing you today? Where is He wrestling you today to bring you to a place of absolute Surrender to Him in your Journey? Is it Relational? Is it Physical? Is it Financial? Is it Emotional? Is it Career? Where has God “wrestled with you” & ‘touched you’ in your life to help you “let go” of something/someone and learn a life of total dependence on Him, Surrender…His simple life of absolute surrender of ALL you have to Him as you hold His hand and walk with Him one day at a time? Look at Genesis 32:28 after the wrestling, God says to Jacob, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” Just as with Jacob, so there is for you and me today after we finish “wrestling with God,” the “Limp” He gives you can be a defining & blessed color in the Perfect Portrait that He is painting in, with, & through your life, if you let Him.

Resting in Him,

Jared S. Faellaci

I just spent this weekend in the Outer Banks (OBX) with one of my Band of Brothers, Steve…in coming home, I had the unpleasant (yet very normal) greeting from my two “live” plants/flowers on my front porch…they were dry, wilting, and dying…as I looked at them, I could almost hear them say, “Will you ever learn how to take care of us, Jared…water me…feed me…I am ‘Hungry & Thirsty’…” The irony is that I have converted over the past two years nearly all my “live” plants and arrangements in my house to artificial for this very reason…my only two remaining are the arrangements on my front porch. I thought how appropriate and parallel to my own life…I am “Hungry & Thirsty” right now & in need of God. How about you…stripping and removing any ‘masks’ or ‘posing’…where are you today…are you too “Hungry & Thirsty”? Why is it so hard & difficult for us to declare, admit, and expose the true Need of our heart, when we are truly “Hungry & Thirsty”?

I think one of the contributing dynamics from our society & culture today is what I call the “Calloused & Casual Commitment” epidemic…you see, for many folks in our society within Relationships, both personal or in employment, we witness a whimsical, flippant, casual, and calloused attitude toward Commitment…thus the skyrocketing divorce rate ever since Reagan signed as Governor of California in 1969 the first “no-fault” divorce…folks today are leaving their spouse for all sorts of rhymes and reasons [some recent ones I've heard from folks: he hunts and fishes too much; she has gained weight; I don't feel fulfilled; he's a computer geek; he doesn't make enough money; she refuses sex with me, she doesn't intellectually stimulate me, etc.]. And then for our employment relationship with Corporate America, there has been a huge focus and shift not on the employee relationship but on what? Profit Growth, Economic Value & Stock Performance, etc. These increasing pressures put on Corporate America over the past few decades have only accelerated due to the globalization dynamic, the dollar devaluation, the recent housing crisis, the commodity bubble, and the huge AsiaPac growing workforce talent pool. So, when we arrive at work, you and I walk with a ‘guarded caution’ knowing that we can’t be too honest with our employer (for the most part) due to the fear and insecurity of a reaction that could cause personal job loss/demotion or political capital loss with our respective employer. So, how do we typically respond then? We mask and pose in our Relationships out of a concern for this “3-C” epidemic…you and I would rather mask our true Neediness and our heart condition due to the concern of being cut off, judged, criticized, passed over, marginalized, pushed aside, downsized, fired, laid off, etc. When our heart is truly “Hungry & Thirsty” many times due to the ‘Intimacy Killer’–busyness, we are in desperate need of God to crash into our lives to satisfy, fill, quench our hunger and thirst. I think many times I transfer my human relationship response to my relationship with God; I equate the anticipated response of an employer or a spouse and transfer that on God as I wrestle with my heart’s true neediness & condition…it is much easier to fall into self-preservation mode to prevent any kind of ‘risk’ or personal setback. In sharp contrast with our spouse or employer, God shows a polar opposite response…He will ALWAYS welcome your honest, no masking declaration of NEED; in fact, He celebrates it! This communicates to Him very simply, “I can’t…I am not…I need help…I need you, God…I am dry and barren…I’m hungry & thirsty for You…” and these are all the expressions of honesty and authenticity that He longs for and desires. God will NOT turn His back on you, demote you, criticize you, condemn you, or push you out when you come to Him declaring your Need…never will He do this…He always accepts the declaration of your Need for Him…always…and this give us hope & confidence to always declare our true Need anytime!

Today, I am thirsty and hungry & in need of God’s refreshing, satisfying, and quenching Presence…to refuel and fill my heart and life so that I can eat, breathe, and celebrate Him as my “Center” today. So, what about you? Where are you? Are you also in “Need”…are you “Hungry & Thirsty”? I love David’s raw, no mask emotion in Psalms…how he time and time again declares His absolute Need to God asking & begging to be filled, to be held, to be helped. David…King David, as great a man and king that he was, is the ideal model for you and me today in a society and culture that discourages true, brutal honesty in declaring our true Neediness. Listen to David in Psalm 63:1 (The Message), “God–you are my God! I can’t get enough of you! I’ve worked up such Hunger and Thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts.” Are you also in “Need” today for God…for Him alone to come & walk beside us holding our hand as He alone satisfies our heart’s hunger and thirst? You can declare your true unmasked “Need” today and with confidence bathe in His quenching Presence & Love, no matter what your circumstances may be…He will always respond positively to our “Declaration of Need”…we all get weary, tired, too busy, dry, and barren needing to drink and feed at our Father’s table…will You let Him sit you at His table today to be “Refreshed” and “Refueled”?

Resting in Him,

Jared S. Faellaci

Do you ever get ’smacked’ in the face with a dosage of reality in terms of those golden, heart connecting moments with your child or children? If you are a parent, then I believe this is a reality we all live and breathe at specific mile markers along the parenting journey. If we allow them, these “Moments” can become a huge “hug of hope” from God as He reminds us of tangible threads of truth, hope, and love.

Such was the case for me this past weekend with my William and Lizzy. On Saturday, I had my three in the car with me and I was sharing with them the situation in Haiti with their extreme poverty and the drastic means that folks are taking just to survive. I told about the “mud pies” that the women and girls make with dirt from the ground, some water, and then a little bit of flour…and then allowing it to be formed and then “dried” in the hot sun for a few hours before they will sell to anyone in the marketplace for a few pennies. After sharing this story, William pipes up and immediately in his action-oriented wiring says, “Dad…we have to do something…we have to send them some money…” I smiled and nodded and thanked God again for the unique passion and sense of calling and action that He had wired and built into my son’s heart.

Then, on Saturday evening, I am brushing Lizzy’s (4) hair, and while brushing it, I say, “Lizzy, Daddy just loves to brush your hair, you know.” She smiles and then turns around and says with this innocent voice, “I know Daddy…it’s because I’m pretty…and I’m special…and I’m your pumpkin.” You can guess what I did…that’s right…I melt…I shed a tear or two in joy and gratitude for the gift of love that God has graciously bestowed on my daughter…what music to “Dance” too…both of these threads this past weekend were a reminder to me that I can “Dance” to the little notes of life on a day by day basis…you too can “Dance to your Little Notes” as you learn to see, breathe, and then dance to God’s “Little Notes” that He places across your path in life’s journey…

So…where are your “Little Notes” today? Are you dancing?

Resting in Him,

Jared S. Faellaci